Reviews by Brock
< Back to Staff ReviewsAlta Gracia Natural Cigarillo
Anyway, I’ve grown quite a reputation here in the retail division for being a connoisseur, aficionado, maestro and all around master of the miniscule entities known as “cigarillos”. The aforementioned “cigarillo”, or “little cigar” in Laymen’s terms, burns easy and goes down fast.
Having worked in every single retail store CI has to offer, whenever a store employee sees Brock walking through the doors on an off-day, they immediately conceal the display racks which respectively present the cigarillos out of fear of running out. Whether it’s a natural wrapper, maduro, flavored cigar or simply dirt cheap, I am willing to smoke any and all cigarillos placed in front of me. I love them so much!
I recently realized something about myself and the type of cigars I like. I’m typically a corona and/or robusto smoker with a heavy emphasis on cigarillos. This makes complete sense now! A little cigar such as the Alta Gracia is a tasty, satisfying morsel of tobacco which literally consumes a maximum of FIVE (5) minutes of my time! Little commitment! I am cigarillos. Cigarillos are me. We are intertwined in the forces of life, thus, producing a beautiful union of two entities!
While the Alta Gracia is offered in either Natural or Maduro, along with being featured in three (3) distinctive sizes (all of which I have smoked), it should be no surprise to you that the size I’m choosing to smoke in droves and review today is the cigarillo.
The Alta Gracia Natural Cigarillo is a small cigar which has roughly the width of a pencil and the length of a…um, golf pencil. The size is 3.1” x 23 if that helps.
In copious boxes of fifty (50) little cigars, you can basically fit an entire roll of them in your hand with ease. If you’re one of those weirdos who like to stick the entire foot of the cigar up your nose before sparking them up, you may want to reconsider this practice with the Alta Gracia. It’s too thin and you will have a high probability of getting it lodged in your nasal cavity. On second thought, go for it. Upon igniting this delightful treat, you will notice how smooth and mellow it is right away. Flavor-wise, I’m getting hints of tasty, natural mellow tobacco.
In the middle third of this cigar, the Alta Gracia Natural is holding the same flavor but is burning slightly hotter due to its size.
When this little guy gets down the nub, it burns hot as hell. Having said the aforementioned, I love these things so much that I literally smoke them down to my fingers, reluctant to put it down.
Just like Christmas, the cold weather is coming. Invest in some of these scrumptious little sticks if find yourself smoking outside often.
Listen, I’m not going to write an elaborate review for an inexpensive, value-brand cigarillo describing it with industry buzzword descriptors such as coffee, nuts, almonds, vegetal and whatever else the literary masters have to say these days. It’s small, quick, mellow, tastes like tobacco and only occupies roughly 5 minutes of your time. More importantly, it’s damn good and damn cheap.
Expert thought of the day: Don’t you love when a “good Samaritan” does an unseen good deed, then proceeds to tell EVERYONE they know? These fake philanthropists slay me!
Gurkha Beauty
There’s a lovely young lady that stops by the CI Super-Store from time to time and, for the sake of anonymity, let us refer to her as “Lola”.
Lola is an avid Gurkha fan and has a way of pushing the brand on me (keep in mind, I’M the cigar salesperson and she’s the customer!) Days ago, she graced us with her presence at the shop and, while it’s tough to get my male co-workers to focus on other customers, it’s always a joy to have her in, no matter how much she busts our stones!
I'm enjoying a cigar that remains unnamed when that zealous Gurkha fanatic asks me, “Brock, what are you smoking?”
I briefly reply to her question, then as fast as I could take another puff, she scathingly states, “When you’re ready to smoke premium quality cigars, I will show you some Gurkhas.”
A Gurkha fan myself, I pay no mind to her contemptuous banter and continue with my daily routine.
Several days after my encounter with Ms. Lola, I'm in the squeaky clean stadium parking lot in Philadelphia tailgating with one of my best friends and his family. “Herby” and I are enjoying some fine tailgating cuisine, cocktails and people-watching as we're wearing our favorite jersey, #20, which is being retired at halftime.
As the smoke from the grill flourished into the air like the burgeoning smog in the Philadelphia city skyline, it's about that time to put some smoke of my own into the air.
Before I could pull out a cigar from my Diesel 2-Finger brown leather carrying case, Herby busts out his 15-count herf-a-dor and offers me a puro of his own.
There were some tasty morsels in there…5 Vegas Cask-Strength, Man O’ War Ruination, Punch Bareknuckle and so-on-and-so-forth. However, I recall my encounter with the Gurkha faithful days prior and spot a beautiful Connecticut Shade cigar known as the “Gurkha Beauty.”
Not wanting an extremely full-bodied cigar, I pass up on the aforementioned offerings and divulge my interest into that eye-catching Gurka Beauty. A corona guy, I tend to stick with thinner vitolas but there’s something about that rotund 6.5” X 58 size that has me dribbling all over my green football jersey.
After I toast the foot, I fire up this Nicaraguan gem with my double flame butane lighter. On a side note, I will never touch the flame of a butane torch directly onto the foot of the cigar as this can detrimentally char a significant portion of your wrapper leaf, thus, inhibiting the desired flavor. Plus, the wrapper is damn gorgeous!
The stunning, chestnut Connecticut-seed wrapper is grown in Ecuador, and then aged 7 years before being applied. It encompasses a rich blend of unidentified 5-year aged fillers.
The first half inch of this tasty treat features a bready flavor accompanied by an effortless draw. Into the middle third of this cigar, the flavor changes into a creaminess which is complemented by a nice, natural sweetness in the smoke. As I pass about 25% of the smoke through my nostrils, it is smooth and painless.
Between puffs, I take sips…well, take a drink…ok, a better word, quaff…ok, let’s be honest…I guzzle my rum and cokes while heckling the opposing fans in “blue” that walk by our tailgate party. It’s the kind of treatment one should expect if they come into Philadelphia wearing colors other than green.
As my jeers persist, so does the ever-increasing flavor and enjoyment I receive from the Gurkha Beauty. As I make my way into the final third of this well-aged masterpiece, I get a clean, slightly zesty finish which builds to the very last puff. Upon finishing the elegant Gurkha Beauty, I forcefully spike the remainder of my cigar on the withered, cracked pavement of the parking lot as if I just scored a touchdown. However, this smoking experience was worth much more than just six points.
If you like mellow, Connecticut Shade cigars such as Montecristo White, Ashton and Davidoff, this blend is for you. My smart shopper advice to you is this…never, I mean, NEVER purchase the Gurkha Beauty on its own. It’s fairly high-end and expensive but is available in numerous Gurkha variety samplers as affordable as $3.00 a piece!
In conclusion, I saw my Gurkha-smoking friend Lola a few weeks after enjoying that Gurkha Beauty.
I tell her, “Hey. I had a Gurkha Beauty the other day.”
Elated, she responds, “Awesome! How was it?”
My answer, “Meh. It was alright.”
Brock’s Rating: “90”
Expert Philosophical Insightful Inspirational Thought for the Day for your Personal Edification and Enlightenment: Before kickoff of this divisional football contest, the “normal” referees who had “locked out” for more money and a bigger pension ran out of the tunnel and took the field. Disgusted with the incompetent “replacement” officials who botched calls and altered game outcomes in weeks prior, the Philly faithful cheered the men in stripes. However, I, for one, did not cheer them and, as a matter of fact, I booed them. I yelled, “Why are you people cheering for these imbeciles!?!? Boo!” Collectively, I received the question back, “Why are you booing them?” My response was, “You will see.” Literally, after two minutes into regulation, the zebras made a call in favor of the visiting team and, ironically, the enlightened folks in Section 101, Row 9 said, “Hey this kid was right! Bring back the replacements!”